It is no surprise there are different forms of love. It is possible to see evidence of this just by looking around a small area with different types of people or couples or by looking into the media or on tv shows. And more particularly, there is evidence of many different types of love depicted in popular love songs that are listened to on a regular basis without the listeners taking time to think about the love they are hearing about. My goal is to get you thinking a bit more about what love is being presented to you while you are listening to popular songs.
Now before we can start digging into what type of love is in any particular song, we must have a way to categorize these loves. The easiest way to describe and categorize love is using the theory of a man by the name of Robert Sternberg. Sternberg came up with a triangular way of thinking of love which describes types of love categorized by the interactions of intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Now before we can start digging into what type of love is in any particular song, we must have a way to categorize these loves. The easiest way to describe and categorize love is using the theory of a man by the name of Robert Sternberg. Sternberg came up with a triangular way of thinking of love which describes types of love categorized by the interactions of intimacy, passion, and commitment.
https://sites.tufts.edu/fall16psy13nkhalil/2016/12/07/using-sternbergs-triangular-theory-of-love-to-analyze-popular-love-songs/
Now that we have seven different types of love to compare our songs to, liking, empty love, infatuation, romantic love, companionate, and fatuous love, let's take a look at some popular songs. First, let's look at Heartbeat Song by Kelley Clarkson.
“Until tonight I only dreamed about you I can’t believe I’ll ever breathe without you
Baby you make me feel alive and brand new
Bring it one more time, one more time"
“I can feel it rising
Temperature inside me
Haven’t felt for a long time”
Temperature inside me
Haven’t felt for a long time”
“Your hands on my hips
And my kiss on your lips
And I could do this for a long time”
And my kiss on your lips
And I could do this for a long time”
In this song the writer is yearning for and calling out to the one she loves and she is describing signs of physiological arousal as well. This is an example of fatuous love. The passion and commitment are present but there is a lack of intimacy between the writer and the object of her affection.
Next, let's look at Miley Cyrus's Adore You.
“I love lying next to you
I could do this for eternity,
You and me, were meant to be in holy matrimony
God knew exactly what he was doing
When he lead me to you”
I could do this for eternity,
You and me, were meant to be in holy matrimony
God knew exactly what he was doing
When he lead me to you”
The lyrics show the intimacy of the relationship while it describes the two lying together. And commitment is portrayed through the usage of "matrimony" and God bringing them together. But because the element of passion is not mentioned we can classify the love in this song as companionate love.
Finally, let's look at Hold on, We are Going Home by Drake.
“I got my eyes on you,
You’re everything that I see”
You’re everything that I see”
“I want your hot love and emotion, endlessly
I can’t get over you,
You left your mark on me”
I can’t get over you,
You left your mark on me”
“Just hold on we’re going home
Just hold on we’re going home
It’s hard to do these things alone
Just hold on we’re going home, ho oh”
Just hold on we’re going home
It’s hard to do these things alone
Just hold on we’re going home, ho oh”
As the writer goes through this song, he describes all three elements of Sternberg's triangle and therefore this song demonstrates consummate love. He demonstrates his infatuation with the object of his affection in his inability to see anything but her. The intimacy of the relationship is shown in the description of her leaving her mark on him. And the commitment is implied in the idea of their going home. Because all three elements of the triangle are here, this song describes what the ideal type of love could look like.
I know that when you are listening to music you do not always want to be thinking so hard or analyzing everything you here. But I do hope, despite this fact, that the next time you are listening to a song in which love is portrayed you might think just a little bit harder on what kind of love is being sung about. And maybe it will give you a better understanding of the message behind the song the artist hopes someone will pick up on.
References:
Using Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love to analyze popular love songs - https://sites.tufts.edu/fall16psy13nkhalil/2016/12/07/using-sternbergs-triangular-theory-of-love-to-analyze-popular-love-songs/
Robert J. Sternberg - http://www.robertjsternberg.com/love/
Applying the Triangular Theory of Love - https://revelpreview.pearson.com/epubs/pearson_hock/OPS/xhtml/ch04_sec_09.xhtml
I thought this post was really interesting because it's very relatable. Everyone knows a good love song, and maybe even knows all the words, but most of the time we're not analyzing the music we listen to. A good example of an artist who sings about different kinds of love would be Taylor Swift. We all know she's dated a lot of people, but if you listen to her past songs, sometimes she creates sad songs about a past love and sometimes the songs are angry. She even has a few that are upbeat and happy. I think if someone were to go through each of her love songs, they would find that each song could be placed into a separate category of love that falls into Sternberg's Triangle.
ReplyDeleteGreat job analyzing different artist and songs, that also helped me relate to this post since they're all popular. I will definitely analyze the songs I listen to a little closer and see if I can interpret them.
I also thought this was a good post. A lot of blues music is about love that does not go well. If you listen closer, you hear about the sad times, the bad times and the good times. These songs are more upbeat the happier the lyrics are, so on top of the lyrics being sad, the whole tone of the song is too. I wonder how you can relate certain chord progressions to the love triangle.
DeleteThis is an awesome topic for a blog post, as so many people listen to music, and are probably hearing about many different psychological principles without even realizing it! I think you did an excellent job analyzing these songs, and it certainly gets you thinking about what is really going on in these songs. This makes me wonder if the type of love songs that people tend to listen to have any effect on what their personal expectations for love and relationships are? Do you think people who end up in more companionate relationships listen to songs with that type of love being described, or fatuous, consummate, etc.? Do you think the music we listen to could actually effect what type of relationship we end up in, or vice versa, do the relationships we find ourselves in dictate what types of songs we end up listening to?
ReplyDeleteThis post was very interesting as I have never really looked into breaking down love songs into different categories but there are definitely differences in the artists portrayed outlook on the relationship they're singing about. In response to Ben's inquiries, when I find a song that relates directly to my life I tend to like it more and want to listen to it more because I have a deeper connection with it. So, I think there are correlations for me in how much I like a love song and how much it relates to my love life at the time. However, if I was just listening to an artist I like and he/she is singing about different types of love I wonder if that influences me to want different types of love. For example, when Taylor Swift releases songs bashing her exes, I feel more inclined to bash my past relationships. While that is more of a difference of being in and out of love, I wonder if that same inclination would be present pertaining to the three main types of love in the triangle.
DeleteIt was very interesting to use music as a way of describing the types of love, but I feel that it works well! I feel too much that a lot of pop music today portrays them being in love, but really its just passionate infatuation that drives them, over someones looks or the way they're dressed. It's really nice to read a song that really hits all the key components of love! The passion, the intimacy, and the commitment all rolled into one.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a great blog topic because music is something than everyone can relate to. You provided great examples of songs that relate to different types of love. I think it would be interesting to see whether today’s music generally falls into certain categories of Sternberg’s triangle. If there is a trend, I wonder if that says something about our culture. For example, I think it would be difficult to find a lot of music that describes empty love, infatuation, or liking. Generally, I think that music describes more ideal and multidimensional relationships. Do you think that this is the same type of love that people are looking for?
ReplyDeleteNice song choice for analyzing and great comparison with the love triangle! I can better understand the parts of the triangle and it will help in answering questions for our class activity. I would like to see how over time love songs change. In high school, I think this was more of a thought for some and as we grow so does our taste in romance and what types of love we seek. I would predict that analyzing through time it may be more commitment and desire, referring to the mistresses that existed more in the past. I also think it wouldn't change as people still act on those desires and have multiple forms of relationships whether it is one or more at a time.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you in that it would be very interesting to analyze love songs overtime. I'm sure there would be gradual swinging back and forth between the most popular types of love that are most prevalent in the most popular loves songs of the time.
DeleteHonestly I normally do analyze lyrics in songs but not like that. I have to say thank you. This girl I've been seeing said to me there's "different kinds of love". I didn't understand fully, I took it as friend love, family love, and love like in a relationship. I understand what she meant now.
ReplyDeleteIt is cool to hear that you already analyze song lyrics and now you have seven new categories to divide songs into in your analysis.
DeleteI thought this was a really creative way to show what types of love portrayed by Sternbergs triangle are used in everyday life. Everyone listens to music so its a very relateable post in terms of being to connect an audience together with one topic. I have never really thought analyze songs this in depth and connect them with different concepts within Psychology. It makes perfect sense and every song can mean something completely different.
ReplyDeleteThat is very true, every song can mean something different. I also like hearing what others see or hear in songs with how they would analyze them because not everyone picks up on the same aspects and that could bring even more differences.
DeleteThis was a really great topic to apply to this chapter and I’ve never really thought about the types of love being represented in music. I think there is a problem in pop/hip-hop music where artists tend to focus on just the passion or intimate parts of a relationship, because sex sells. For so long in these genres there have been messages in songs that cheating is ok and the idea of ‘side pieces’ in committed relationships are ok. I do think this is changing in the music industry today. I think as women become more valued and seen as equal in the workplace and in society, more artists are including the commitment aspect of a relationship in their music.
ReplyDeleteI think you are very correct, there is a lot of focus on passion and intimacy in pop culture. I wonder if some of this is caused by people being fearful of diving too far into the commitment aspect of love. I am glad you feel as though this is changing and that we may be moving out of this mindset in music.
DeleteGreat post! I tend to agree with Greta’s statement, that there’s been a problem with the way that love is portrayed in music, particularly in the rap/hip-hop/pop genres, where women (as well as men) are often sung about as objects of pleasure or desire, and commited relationships are discussed far less. I know that everyone loves to hate on country music, but I’ve always appreciated that the love songs in that genre (although there are definitely exceptions) are more often about deeper relationships, although this could just be my own bias. I think it would be really interesting to do an in-depth analysis with the top songs in each genre to see how they differ in their portrayals of love.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a really interesting post and this was a great way to apply Sternberg's triangle. I was wondering if you vetted the songs to be written by the artists that perform them? I think that many artists are pressured into performing songs they don't necessarily agree with to make money. I would be interested if you found different types of love (more consummate based) when the songs are written and performed by the same person. Otherwise great post and analysis!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting topic. I like how you were able to identify the different types of love meaning to be portrayed - something I would have never thought about while just listening to a song. I was also thinking along the same lines as Samantha, are these different types of love just planted by the artists within the songs solely to please their intended audience? If so, it would be interesting to know why songwriters may pick different types, is one type more appealing/profitable?
ReplyDeleteInteresting read. I enjoyed seeing how you could link the triangle to the different love songs, and how each one is different from the other. I think it would be interesting to look at other love songs produced by these artists and see if they follow a pattern with the type of love they portray in their music.
ReplyDelete